Some times it isn’t easy…

…..and I’m going to H*LL!

I have this neighbor who moved up from CT about 4 years ago, to get away from the city and live in the country. They bought this lovely old farm house and the first thing they did was pave the driveway and put up BIG iron gates with an intercom to get in. She has adopted me as the lady who knows about country living…I think I am her only friend, most run screaming and pulling their hair when they see her coming.

A month or so ago she called me on the phone and said, Karyn I think your horses are out and on my turf. I’m thinking WHAT, this woman is part of some sort of gang? What the heck? I told her I would be down but was quite sure they weren’t my horses, I just fed them a half hour ago and quite sure they were busy eating hay.

I walked over and sure enough, there were 4 horses, big Belgians to be exact on her lawn, AH-HA the light went on she didn’t have a lawn but turf….I told her they weren’t mine (she drives by mine every day and should know they aren’t the same….mine are much smaller with long manes and tails these are huge with no mane and very short tails) but knew they lived further down the road. She said, well I don’t care I want you to get them off there. I told her I would be back I was going home to get lead ropes. She panics and says don’t leave them here. I calmed her down, told her to stay away from them and they wouldn’t move far, I would be right back.

I returned and hooked 2 of them, told her to give me an hour or so and I would be back for the other 2. She is now yelling take them all! I told her nicely, I have run into THESE HORSES before and could not handle 4 at one time, 2 would be a challenge for me. To calm down I would be back and to stay away from them, I was going to walk these 2 home and then get the other 2. She is yelling my turf… they are denting it. I shook my head in agreement, and told her to cheer up she might get some organic fertilizer out of the deal. She smiled, do you think their owner would give me some? I smiled back just in time for one of them to leave a nice steaming pile on her turf and told her the owner had nothing to do with it, it was up to the horse. Now she is really upset, she has ….. poop…. on her turf and dents… The poor thing.

Long story short all the horses made it home, and I was tired from walking and wrestling with those big boys, they don’t always mind very well. She calls me on the phone again and askes when I’m coming to remove the poop from her turf. I feel bad for her and agree to go back and pick it up.

I run into her again a few days later at the hardware store and she thanks me again and asks how she is going to prevent the horses from coming back. I told her I had no idea, THOESE horses pretty much do what they want, and she nor I couldn’t do anything about it. She tells me next time she was going to call the dog catcher. I smiled, told her our town doesn’t have a dog catcher not to worry their fencing had been fixed and they were safe, and it wasn’t wise to start trouble with THOSE neighbors.

I told her to have a great time shopping and I was going home to check on my solar dryer. She lights up, oh you have a solar dryer? I tell her yes, I have had it for a few years and in fact bought it right in this store. She is all excited and runs to hunt down the store owner. I left and went home to take my clothes off the line.

A few days later I run into the hardware store owner at the local grocery and he tells me thanks a bunch for sending this woman to him over a solar dryer…She pestered him for days and he couldn’t convince her I meant a clothes line. After all she wasn’t going to have clothes hanging outside, there must be a dryer that runs inside on solar energy…. 🙂

Last week she called me again asking where I bought the solar dryer. I again told her at the hardware store, and I let the guy off the hook. I also told her my solar dryer was a clothes line. That the clothes dryed by the heat (solar) of the sun, and as a bonus the wind. She was not amused.

She again asked me if I thought the farmer down the road with the 4 horses was going to give her organic fertilizer for watching his horses. I had to tell her, I was joking and ment the horse poop. She says in a ghasp….fertilier isn’t horse poop, it comes in a bag, and is very expensive if it is organic. I tried again and couldn’t convince her. Finally I told her I had some at home I had put into a plastic bucket. She is happy to think I will drop it off to her.

Yesterday it was warm and sunny and I needed a walk. I went to the back side of the horse poop pile where it is nice and composted, used the hoe to break things up a bit and filled my bucket then went for a walk to deliver my organic fertilizer to my neighbor with the turf. I told her to let me know if she wanted more, I had some laying around…

To quote my favoirte movie… Cool Hand Luke

…..What we’ve got here is… failure to communicate. Some men (women in this case) you just can’t reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it… well, he gets it.

Yes I am going to H*LL, but I did try….


Have a great weekend



Posted on March 28, 2009, in For Fun and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 13 Comments.

  1. Great story Karyn, I’m still laughing.

    I don’t think you’re going to h*ll, quite the opposite, being so helpful to that b****y woman…..I think I’d have suggested she sort out her own problems, does she think you have nothing better to do than rescue her all the time.

    Nope, definitely a reserved spot for you in Heaven 🙂

  2. You’re much more gracious than I would have been…

  3. I’m with Nanette and Kathie. She’d have been sitting on that steaming pile if it had been me there.

    Thanks for the funny (or perhaps it is sad) story!

  4. I like her because she thinks she knows everything and yet knows so little. I always try to steer her the right way, not always an easy thing to do.

    Some day I might need her to show me the ropes of city life, and what to wear to the country clubs. Hey, now, …you never know! I may trade my jeans for a dress for one night….

    Always good for a laugh. When I have time I’ll tell you about the “spring bulbs” I dug up for her she planted last year that never grew. It ended to be my fault because I didn’t mark the tops, or she didn’t remember me tell her the top, pointy end up in the hole then cover with dirt…. I think she got it right this year, we will see very soon. The “daffys” are just poking their leaves up through the ground..

    Fingers crossed..

    Or I can tell you about the time her pressure cooker “expelled” all over her ceilings while she was trying to cook a roast in it…Not funny she could have been hurt.


  5. Does she read? She might need a good book like The Encylopedia of Country Living.

    Boy oh boy….

  6. Karin,

    I wonder? But isn’t it easier to get someone else to do things for you?
    I love that book, so won’t offer to loan it out.

    Have a wonderful Day


  7. Having people do things for you might work if you live in the suburbs and can pay people to do them for you. But really, the allure of country living gets so lost on people. It is about self-reliance…

    Did she realize that you gave her a bucket of Poo?

  8. Oh I forgot…i took a penny rug class this past week. The woman had some lovely hand died felt that we used for them. But at 18.00 for a fat quarter I would like to find something more affordable but still 100% wool. Can you make any recommendations?

  9. Hello Karin,

    The rug class sounds like so much fun. Wish someone around here was having classes. The wool I found on line isn’t 100% something like 30/70 poly/wool. From what I have read this blend works very well for rugs and other crafts. In the past I have found 100% wool in thrift shops, yard sales…Not to long ago I found this buttercup yellow jumper that was 100% wool and had plans on making stuffed baby chicks with it. My Niece liked it so well I gave it to her. She changed out the buttons and it’s so cute on her. If you stop in to Wee Folk art they have a one time 20% coupon off at Prairie Point Junction. I have ordered from them before and the wool although a blend works very nicely.

    About my lady friend with the turf. No I tried to tell her and think she should have gotten the joke when the horse pooped on her lawn and I called it fert. She is happy to think this stuff came from a bag I dumped into the bucket….That’s the way she wants it. She is also the type to love hamburgers but refuses to beleive it was once a brown eyed, cute tail waggin’ animal. There is some magic hamburger tree or something some where. That’s where her burgers come from. That’s why I’m going to H*LL, I let her think any way she wants. It works for my 3 year old too, some times it easier than an argument.

    Post pictures of your rug if you get the chance I would love to see it. 😉


  10. After laughing my butt off at this post I had Wolf read it. He laughed his butt off too saying “keep her on that side of the river!”

  11. Howling Hill,

    I will do my best to keep her on this side of the river. No promises though, she does like Parkhurse….:)


  12. I was visiting Howling Hill over the weekend & she told me about this blog. I had to read it myself. Funny stuff! I like it because I can look back – once upon a time I was horrified to find a lamb in the bathroom when visiting my now husband. Today it’s all in a day’s work. Maybe you’ll turn her into a country dweller yet!

    Thanks for the chuckle!

  13. Hi Maggie,

    Hope you had a great visit! What? lambs don’t use the inside bathroom? 🙂 My neighbor sends many running in the other direction, but I like her, she always is good for a laugh, but not in a mean way. I’m sure if I went to her neighborhood they would all laugh at me too, think Beverly hillbillies… She will catch on 🙂

    What nice weather we have been having this week, I saw several gardens being tilled and lawns being raked. Yes some wood splitting too… we aren’t done with the cold. 🙂

    Have a great day.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: